Sometimes I feel so horribly selfish when I think of my little brother. Here he is, this arrangement of happiness, love, and pure wonder all bundled into the most adorable package and I’m mad at him for not putting on his shoes fast enough. Not mad, but annoyed, and I know that he knows it. He says ‘sorry’ and a wave of guilt washes over me. I feel like a complete idiot- and I should. He’s just seven, and he’s learning how to tie his shoes and I can’t be patient enough for him to tie his shoes. And then I think to myself, ‘Why are you like this?! Why can’t you let him be?” And I feel even more guilty.
I want to be good to him. He’s seven and is the most amazing and impactful person in my life. I want him to know that every time we have a conversation, how much I love him. I need to remind myself of this love each time I get frustrated or impatient. I guess I’m still learning how to be an older sister.